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for having two hours of sleep I am surprisingly energized. I don't know what the heck goes on with my body. lol I'm feeling Romantical. Yup. Romantical. I guess this should be a blogg instead of an update... So, here we go! In case you don't know me I blog like I talk. That's correct, run on sentences and barely ever break between topics or take a breath between words for that matter. That being said hang on for the ride because HERE. WE. GO!... I'm in a surprisingly good mood despite the fact that a bunch of neighborhood brats were pounding obnoxiously on my door. I qualified as a pampered chef consultant yesterday. That is something I'm extremely excited about because it is my first time ever qualifying which really isn't hard to do I just haven't been able to in the past because I gave up to quick. BUT I did it so it calls for a celebration in my book. I am talking to everybody everywhere about my business because it's time to get it taken off the ground. I'm going to become a director and need to build a team, you do that with cooking shows so lets get to it! :D I'm contacting the tax guy tomorrow, hopefully I get my super sweet tax return because my car, uhhhhhh lets just say the box of metal that I lug around with me. lol um to if you're behind to catch you up to speed it is a 2001 and I pretty much totaled it within the first 3 months of having it. (what the heck just came on my playlist wow, it's just instrumental. annoying yet peaceful #mixedemotions My very very good friend Shimster is giving me her ipod when she gets her new phone so I'm in the very tedious task of uploading all of my cds to itunes. something I never ever thought would happen, just for the record.) So I was uturning RIGHT INFRONT OF MY HOUSE and got tboned by a tool driving a tow truck. Yes it was found my fault but it's never my fault, I could be driving the wrong way on a 1 way street and it's still the fault of the on coming traffic for not moving so I blame him. tool. The status of my car. Needs new tires, both front axels are broken, frame is bent, need a new driver side door that locks and has a window, the transmission needs flushed, the oil needs changed, there is a leak in the power steering hose and a leak in the oil tank. I THINK that's it... right? thats IT?! yup. That's it. So with my tax return, if it comes to me and NOT my defaulted student loans, I am going to get a new used car from the impound lot. I'm thinking a stick shift this time even though I don't know how to drive it, hm. It would really help if I was more organized though, I have a ton of tax write offs if I can find the receipts. On a side note, I want applebutter, yummmo!!! I have biscuits in a tube that would go GREAT with applebutter! wonder how they make apple butter. I'm sure I could google it. lol it's how I discovered how to make chinese food. Even though I burnt the orange chicken, epic party foul, was very sad about that. Thank god for Crock pot liners! I absolutely love boys, I am boy crazy. I'm glad to be single so I can LOOK without feeling guilty, but at the same time it'd be nice to have someone to be romantical with. yes there's that obnoxious word again, ROMANTICAL. Add it to your dictionary on google chrome. I need to go to the thrift store, I don't like that it's dark so early, I feel like it's too late to do anything and everything is already closed but IT'S NOT! Last night I felt a very cool breeze coming in through the cracks in the back door which is connected to my bedroom, yes it's awkward to have an exit door in your bedroom, thanks for asking. So I ripped apart some garbage bags with my gumby muscles and used packing tape to block it all off and then put up the curtain. I think it helped in the bedroom. what DOESN'T help is that I have no curtains anywhere else in the house lol but that's okay I guess cuz Mel and I spend most of our time in the bedroom anyhow, we're lazy buggers. I'm listening to Dane Cook on CD and really he's more of a visual comedian, his cd isn't all that grand, but I'm listening anyhow haha. He is a gorgeous man though, yowza! I'm thinking since I've been craving deviled eggs I might make some! that actually sounds bomb. why are they so much work though?! I'm gonna devour them in a few seconds much faster than making them. Meh I'm not in the mood to do anything, maybe I'll just eat cereal. LOL ok I'm over Dane lets go to the music. Oh that was not a smooth transition LOL I feel like I was listening to a radio show and now it's commercial hahaha what IS this?! R. Kelly? Not okay, why did I upload this crap?! How many of these cds have I NEVER listened to from the day I acquired them?! WHERE DID THEY COME FROM?! I KNOW I never went up to someone and was like "Hey broski, you got that new R. Kelly cd? can I borrow it?" I have NEVER been an r. kelly fan with the EXCEPTION of I believe I can fly... Okay, this is a lot of rambling, I'm sure people look at this blog and go NEXT! before they even start to read it haha. If you did read it kudos to you, if you skimmed it you only get Kos because you did half the work so you only get half the credit. haha have fun with life everybody!! :D Now which corbin bleu icon should I use, hmmmm...
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Dear Alex,

I had a dream about you today... it was an amazing dream... I was happy in it. I miss what we had... and I HATE that I can't talk to you right now.


Me </3

Current Mood: sad sad

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so how many countless times have I started trying to get to know a guy and then all of a sudden he stops talking to me... no goodbye, no I'm not into you, nothing. Just straight up ignores me... how many?! TONS

So this new guy was talking to me every day, and I was really enjoying talking to him, and then all of a sudden I don't hear from him for 3 days but I see him online. So I send him a "well I guess you're already over me" email but more wordy cuz I was super bummed because in my head I was thinking "Really? Again? What the heck is wrong with me? I could have sworn he was different..."

And then he responds. He hadn't received ANY of my text messages and thought I was busy because he sent me a text and I didn't respond either... because I didn't get it. He then puts me in my place by saying I should have been more casual than accusing and that he barely knows me and that email reminded him of his ex and like really let me have it (nicely).

Needless to say I was so embarrassed because everything he was saying was true and I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions, I apologized a thousand times and thanked him for putting me IN my place because I appreciate that when someone can do that respectfully. I also let him know that I was ashamed and in the dog house and all that.

He said he accepts my apology so I mean that's a good sign, right? But I guess I did come off a little crazy. But it's just that it's happened to me soooo many times, I was frustrated and bummed and no matter how many times I say "Don't hold past people against new people, what they've done how they've hurt you etc, because each person is a different person and they deserve the same chance" I guess in that instant I forgot that rule and wish I wouldn't have because now, altho he accepts my apology, does he forgive me? can he forget it ever happened and give me another chance to not make the same mistake again??...

I guess only time will tell, we don't know each other that well but he always makes me smile and he makes me feel good about myself and I'd REALLY like to get to know him more and spend time with him, hopefully this was just a lil pothole and not a big ditch. :-/

Current Mood: embarrassed embarrassed

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This was a writers block question, and altho I don't have writers block, I felt like giving my input to the world since the world asked for it, and I'll get to that in a minute, infact I'll put it behind a LJ cut if I can remember how to do it!

So I have a zit on my upper back, I can't reach it... ? I also need to wax my back.

In addition to that news, which I didn't plan on writing about but just realized, it's official, I'm REALLY REALLY REALLY feelin the second boy I posted about in my last entry, and I'm pretty sure he's diggin me too, so now we date!... no, we're not dating I mean, so now we go on dates, but said in an action tense... ANYHOW. I'm not sure when our first date is going to be, but I'm excited.

I'm gonna finish cleaning my house tomorrow, go into town, mail out a feel better card and maybe get a smoothie.

All of that being said, lets see if I can remember this LJ cut bullshyt, if not it's just gonna be a longer entry, but here we go... Read more...Collapse )
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EX: hi

ME: hi lol

EX: I like ur goofy pic...why haven't I heard from you in so long?

ME: haha thanks, and because I don't trust you, and I can't get over it, so instead I have to
just get over you.

EX: ok :)

ME: :)

Think he's gone for good?? I love how he didn't even question it, kinda of just confirms it in my opinion, tho some people would argue that if he would have went into defensive mode that THAT would confirm it. Whatever, guess it depends on the type of person.

I was going through my cd book and found a bunch of old mixed cds from forever ago like years and years ago forever ago. I'm listening to one now instead of going to bed, and I'm loving it.

So, I've been actively flirting with boys, and 2 of them seem to be more prominent than any others, I think the one is REALLY feelin me and I'm not REALLY feelin' him as much anymore, and I think the other I'm feelin him more than he's feelin me but he's still feelin me... I dunno.

I bought a microwave and have zero counter space so I put it on top of my fridge LOL... it actually works out perfect for my tall butt hahaha there have been 2 days in the past 2 weeks that I have been in the cleaning mood, so the house is coming together slowly but surely!

what kind of girl ya like? I know my looks can be deceiving. Tell me am I your type? my main goal is to please ya. what's on the schedule tonight?,,, my love is like whoa!!! ;) so glad I'm exploring these cds!!! hahahaha

uploaded some old pics on facebook, memories are amazing, I hope I never lose them...
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So my friend got fired from Target too for the same reason I and about 13 other people did, and he just got his first unemployement check... if he got his I WANT MINE!! I don't care if I have an awesome job now, I want my checks for the 2 months that I wasn't working full time. I'm gonna call them every weekday until I get mine!!!!!!!! I'ma have my case number MEMORIZED by the time this is all over, GIVE ME MY MONEY THAT I DESERVE!!!!!
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Boy A- Went on a date, just a friend connection (We're just not that into each other)

Boy B- Met randomly, he never contacts me before I contact him first (He's just not into me)

Used to date boy C- Reconnecting with trust issues

Boy D- not even in the picture because he's SEVENFREAKINTEEN! Leave me a lone dude you're jailbait.

Boy E- Taken (He's just not into me)

Boy F- Straight (He's REALLY not into me)

Boy G- Toooo into me and forward and provocative and no thank you. (I'm just not that into him)

Boy H- Too feminine *pukes* (I'm just not that into him)

Boy I- Insecure (guess he has reason to be if there's 7 boys I'm "talking" to in addition to him but really he doesn't need to be. It's annoying.


I need a change, I don't need a boy, I need something more. I'm ready to move to a new town in California.
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Soooo yesterday was awesome, I met a really cute guy, not sure where, or how far, that will go... but we'll see.

Today was AWESOME, I made a lot of money for there to be nothing special in town it was great. After work I had a few drinks with some of my favorite co-workers (nothing crazy)and we just got to hang out and talk and one of them were said to me something along the lines of "I just love you, I'm so glad you got hired onto OUR team." and it made me so so happy to hear. They tell me all the time how awesome of a job I'm doing, but for her to say that when we're just hanging out was awesome and then another one said something about how great I'm doing and to keep it up and how impressed he was and all that and it was just a GREAT night, usually it's just me and the bartender but tonight the servers stayed to hang with us and it was just so much fun!!

I really love my new job and I love this team just as much as my old team, I just like this pay better lol. I work less hours and make the same ammount and sometimes more than I did at my old job. I used to like my old job (before I got such a crappy review) and always said "I love my California life!" and now I can say it again with more emphasis, I REALLY REALLY REALLY love my California life!! :D I feel it's only a matter of time until I get promoted to SERVER!!!! I really should have just applied for it to begin with but I didn't and I can't go back, but I'm really anxious and can't wait!! :D I expect by Christmas to be a server AND have my real estate license for the state of california... we shall see!!! :D
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GOOD MORNING!!! :D I'M In the cleaning mood for once! About to get some CLEAN on before work tonight at 6!!

I had an amaaaaaaaaaazing night last night, nothing REALLY happened, but it made me feel great none the less... I went on a date with a guy and he was super cute but there really wasn't any chemistry. So then I went with George and Guillermo and went to a bar and saw this REALLY cute guy, we didn't talk much while I was there but flirted from the distance, so when I was leaving I made sure to say bye to him and he made sure I got his number :D We texted a lil bit and he's adorable lol He lives about a half hour drive away tho :( but he said he came into town cuz he needed a drink, so I'm hoping if that's all it takes to get him in here maybe I can see him more often than not. I told him to hit me up next time he's in town and I'll make time for him :) Anyhow his name is Max and he's 27 and hes SO FREAKIN' CUTE!!!! UGH!! We'll see what comes of it, but because of him I had a wonderful night that carried over into this afternoon, my coworkers will probably think I got laid, but I won't tell them otherwise lol. My good friends know that still hasn't happened :) <3

Hope you all have a great day, it's gonna be a good one!!! :DDD

Current Music: Fefe Dobson ~*~ "Take Me Away"!!! :D <3

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Dwelling on the past... yet again.

Just thinking back on past relationships, wondering what really happened to them. One in particular that I used to be soooooo in love. I trip real fast anyhow, but in any of the relationships was it really them that was wrong? Or was it really me? I mean I used to be a MESS, capital M. E. S. S. MESS! I've grown and changed so much, if you didn't know the old me you wouldn't believe the new me. But even with the new me I know I'm not perfect, but I'm almost positive I gave my all in each relationship I've been in... I dunno, I'm done thinkin' about it.

I had a great week at work, it's really nice to get paid for working hard, not like working at Target, Target really doesn't know how to treat their employees. Like "Thanks for coming in a hundred times when so and so called out and thanks for doing split shifts 5 million times when so and so called out, but we're gonna have to let you go because you were a late 3 days in 2 weeks." ugh whatever. I'm glad I got fired I just wish it would have been for something worth it like socking another team member in the face... ya know?? LOL... I mean, it's definitely a mental trick, because technically my new job doesn't pay me for all my hard work, they just pay me what anyone else would, but I get tipped out, so really the guests pay me more, in a sense, but I combine it all together and get excited like "Last night I made $22 an hour" and I get super happy and excited. I'm not money hungry by any means, I don't have anything designer, I don't wear jewelry from anywhere but Target or Claires/Icing, I don't have amazing furniture, I'm really a simple kind of guy, but it's really nice to feel appreciated, and that's what getting paid more does for me.

My friend Roxanna gave me a Russian Dwarf Hampster named Mini, she goes crrrrrrrazy on her lil wheel all night long, it's loud and obnoxious so I have to derail it before bed lol. It seems I slowly keep extending my family, first it was my Beta fish Johnson, then my dog Mel and now a hampster named Mini lol

I changed my online dating profile, I was reading all these profiles and I was like "wow, he sounds perfect, why's he single??" And then I read my profile and I was like "Wow, I'm perfect, why am I single?" ... not really, but you know what I mean. Everyone puts up there bests for first impressions, well what about our worsts *sp*? So I changed my profile, the first half is everything that one might consider a bad thing, ie. I have a messy house, I'm overweight, I'm addicted to my job, etc. and the second half is what one might consider good things ie. I'm genuine, I'm a great friend, I'm positive, optimistic, etc... I like it. I think it sets me apart from the rest, it allows people to know what they're really getting into, it lets them judge me (like they would anyhow) BEFORE we meet, get all that mess out of the way, ya know? Maybe not the best strategy, but definitely a new one.

Well, it's kinda late so I guess I'll be done writing this novel I somehow started. If ya read it let me know what you're thinkin, hope y'all have a good week!
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